Do you remember a time when chocolate chip cookies came fresh from the oven? Pepperidge Farm remembers. Do you remember a time when women couldn’t vote and certain folk weren’t allowed on golf courses? Pepperidge Farm Cliven Bundy remembers.
My more astute readers will recognize the above line being a play on a joke from a classic episode of Futurama. It was the first thing that popped into my head as I was trying not to wake up this morning. But I have obligations (apparently children have to eat daily), so I decided to get a rant out of the way.
Cliven Bundy. What a douchebag. Yes, he is guilty of bilking the government out of “more than a million dollars in fees, fines, and other penalties” while hypocritically and unfairly deriding people on government assistance. But this guy also rallied a bunch of domestic terrorists to point guns at federal agents who were simply carrying out a federal court order—the result of a court judgment that Bundy lost (drop the Nazi comparisons). Now it turns out he’s a racist too? No surprise there.
I don’t entirely blame Bundy for his racist worldview; he comes from a different era when things were more segregated. Most of our readers, regardless of race, probably have that older relative who makes off-color comments during Thanksgiving meals, causing everybody’s spine to curl and making them second guess that wedding invitation. The difference between Great-Uncle Juan on his fourth margarita and Cliven Bundy, though, is that Uncle Juan doesn’t have a national platform from which to spew his filth. That, and, I don’t know about your older family members, but mine never wondered if Blacks were better off as slaves.
So now Bundy’s bodyguard Jason Bullock has come to his defense, stating that the man, who he’s known for all of a few weeks, isn’t a racist. Look, Bundy having a black bodyguard doesn’t make him not-racist any more than giving your half-black, half-Mexican mistress permission to “f***” black guys does. Bullock goes on to clarify Bundy’s statements, but they didn’t require any clarification. Everybody with an iota of common sense knew what Bundy was trying to say: That government assistance is handicapping people. It wasn’t what he was trying to say that was so offensive; it’s what he said that made jaws drop.
Sorry, Bundy, if you wanted to rant about the handicap that government assistance provides and not sound like a racist asshole, then before even opening your mouth you should have paid the money you owe the federal government. And then you should have talked education reform or criminal justice reform or just about any topic other than the one that even suggests the black community would be better off picking cotton.