June 22, 2024

Nut Case

The worst thing about mixed nuts is that there are too many peanuts, right? That’s what I assumed, at least, when Googling for a few links to support my below statement. I assumed there would be ancient-looking blue and grey forums filled to the brim with people outraged at the peanut-to-other-nut ratio in most mixed nuts and trail mixes. I was wrong. People just want to know if peanuts will make them fat: How many will make them fat? Could they possibly aid them in getting skinny? They also want to know something about peanuts and coke, and the ratio of peanuts to candy corn. I honestly have no idea. Didn’t click. The most I could find with a really quick search was this Wikipedia entry, which states, “Because they are relatively inexpensive, peanuts are typically a major ingredient in mixed nuts, although they are viewed as less fancy than other nuts; often “deluxe mixed nuts” are advertised as containing no peanuts.” Exactly my point!

Ok, so anyway, the worst thing about mixed nuts is that there are too many peanuts. No doubt. If that weren’t the case then Planters wouldn’t advertise their mixed nuts with big bold letters proclaiming “Less Than 50% Peanuts”! That said, I love just about anything else that involves peanuts. Peanut brittle, peanut butter, Baby Ruth candy bars. If it’s not a can of mixed nuts but has peanuts in it, chances are I’ll love it. And that’s why the worst thing about mixed nuts is the BEST thing about chocolate-themed snack mixes! I fucking love chocolate covered peanuts and there are a ton of them in this Archer Farms Jingle Blend.

Hell yes.

-Alibi Pierce

About Alibi Pierce 193 Articles
Curates Noise Journal

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